socialization

socialization..... oh, how I hurt when I hear that word! And I saw it again this past summer at a park in Santa Cruz. 
    There I was with my dear grandchildren and not thinking about the separate world I live in with my other son Tim.... until I saw him... a young man playing basketball all by himself and I knew as I watched him that he had Down syndrome. I thought about just walking by as I had on my hat of "Nana" and not my "advocate for people with Down syndrome" hat... But I bet you can guess what I did?
      I went up to the man with the young man and introduced myself and talked with him thinking he was the father. "Oh, no, he corrected. I am just a friend/mentor."  As I walked away I was reminded how much it takes to be a parent, the sacrifice, the ownership, the hard-work and so much more. The man cared, yes, I think to a degree, but not like a parent.
     So I wanted to thank each of you that reads this and is a parent. Thank you for giving of yourself, your dreams and so much more to be all you can be your your child. 
  God bless you,
       Humbly yours,
                  Sue

They want to use their wings!!!!

yes, my guys want to use their wings... yes, I know that was my goal to help them develop wings to fly.... but I thought the small studio apartments would be their flying... but no, they both "really" want to do a solo flight... yes, without ME! and without each other!!! I am shocked and yet is not this what I have worked for????  Below is my heart felt letter I sent out to have people praying as we move ahead with their "30 year old goals".. more to come!

Hello dear friends and family,

              Writing to ask you to join us in prayer as we enter another adventure in our lives.  Tim, who most of you have known since his birth, is turning 30 this year. Where have the years gone?!  But you all know there have been struggles and triumphs that have brought tears to our eyes and joy to our hearts and Tim has taught us so much.  We know we would not be the Christians we are if God had not given him to us. 

              So here is the next step: Tim wants to move out.  He has been talking about not really being content here for some time now.  We thought this was the “perfect” home for him and yet after 5 years of training and supervision he wants his own one bedroom apartment.  Tears are filling my eyes as I write this as it again brings both emotions: happy and successful that Tim is being like all adult children and wanting his complete independence and hasn’t this been our goals for decades?  So as he spreads his wings and flies away I have a heart struggle. I want him to be safe and protected and I hear God speaking in my ear, “I will be his God.” 

              Will he make it? Isn’t it too expensive for his budget? Where? When? Kevin wants the same thing and Buck and I cannot talk them into getting an apartment together.  So we support them and help them and leave the door open to come back.  We want Tim to be content and maybe he will fly away for a time and come back or he will go and God will show Himself stronger than I have faith for right now.  The first step is his meeting today with a regional center worker where he will tell her his desire and see where that leads.

              So, I have no answers just tears are flowing and I need you all to be praying with us and for us.  This is a good thing and the right move and at least he is looking at downtown Sonora and not far away.   We want to give a big thank you to each of you who have walked beside us over the three decades of his life; we could not have raised him without you.

Grateful that we can have you join us in the next adventure,

Sue & Buck

Ps please do not call with questions…. I have no answers…. But God will guide us, of that we are sure!  J